Luuuuuuuuucy.....

Seems I have some 'splainin to do.

     The rumors are true. I'm off the wagon. I haven't done an Insanity workout in a week-- because I am stubborn and I believe that boycotting the system will hurt it's feelings enough to make me start losing weight. I've not totally stopped working out, however. Last Saturday, I opted to go for a run-- something I hadn't done outside in 6 months.

     Feeling my feet hit the pavement was such an amazingly good feeling. If I can say one thing about Insanity, it is that I have definitely become more conditioned. I made it to the end of our street without stopping (nearly a mile-- which I realize means nothing to you, but means the world to me). I have what you may call American Thighs, so running is essentially like dragging tree trunks across the asphalt. Keeping my fatass in motion for any extended period of time is something to celebrate. The fact that I also made it nearly the whole way back is also worth noting.

     The feeling of the sun on my skin had me hooked immediately. The thought of popping in a crummy old DVD in our sparse home office with the single covered window made me want to curl up in the corner and take a nap. If I was going to exert myself, let me commune with nature while doing it. Have I mentioned how terribly dramatic I am?

     I spent the next 5 days riding my bike in the mornings before Ash left for work -- a secret joy of mine since childhood. My bike is rusty, creaky, nearly 15 years old (I got it for Christmas when I was 10), but it pedals fast and gets the job done.

     We live about 3 miles from the beach, but we're somehow tucked in the sweetest country pocket, an enclave of golden sunlight, tree lined side streets, and orchards. Across the street from us are horse farms, large pastures home to fluffy baby chicks, and ponds the house turtles popping up to enjoy the sun. First, I would race the dragonflies flying next to me, then I would race the Blue Angels as they streaked across the sky.

     My legs would burn but it was a burn so good. "Take THAT, Insanity," I thought to myself. Stubborn or not, I love the way my body feels when it is DOING something. I need outdoor exertion to validate my existence. I'm transcendental that way.

     As I went shopping for pants tonight and zipped up that elusive size 12 (score!), I decided that maybe I'd give Insanity another chance.... although this time I'm not going to put so much pressure on it or myself. Scale? Be gone. I'm just going to love the feeling of movement in my bones and sweat on my brow... although deep down I'll only be thinking about the wind in my face as I cruise down a hill at full speed.

"My wrists are sweating!"

My dear friend Mary has joined me on the dark side. She started Insanity yesterday and I want you all to encourage her!

Hopefully she'll  be featured as a guest blogger soon-- as soon as she has enough energy to lift her fingers.

Send her your love, let her know that life is not over.

I'm causing a stack overflow

     This is the part of any exercise program where I begin to get extremely, extremely frustrated. It’s been just shy of three weeks: I’ve been killing myself daily with these crazy workouts, I’ve been drinking upwards of six bottles of water a day, I’ve cut out things like French fries, and I’ve been incredibly sensitive about my diet.

     I haven’t lost as single pound. On the contrary. 18 days into this program, I’ve gained a pound.

     Sure, spout the bull about muscle weighing more than fat or my body just redistributing the fat it already has, but seriously? I want proof positive that all of this Insanity is doing something.

     As a bona fide chubby girl, I’ve spent my whole, entire life with the mantra that it’s just a number on the scale. The number doesn’t matter as long as you look and feel great… but that crap only goes so far. The funny thing is that in taking my measurements (bust, bustline, waist, hips, thighs, calves, arms), I’ve lost a solid inch in every single area (1.5 inches in my calves). So why isn’t the weight coming off?

     Perhaps I’m most frustrated because a measly inch isn’t totally noticeable so I don’t actually feel like any of this crap is working. My Fit Test numbers show slight improvement, but because of my mood, it doesn't feel like it's enough. I honestly just feel like sitting down with a pint and a spoon and finishing it off so I can prove that I can see soemething to the end and be successful. 

Fit Test Week 2:

Switch Kicks—33 (up from 32… wow)
Power Jacks—40 (up from 35)
Power Knees—87 (up from 63, okay, I’ll take it)
Power Jumps—15 (up from 11)
Globe Jumps—10 (up from 5. I’m actually happy with this one because “1” jump is actually a series of four jumps, so technically I upped this by 20 more jumps)
Suicide Jumps—10 (up from 6)
Push Up Jacks—15 (up from 10)
Low Plank Obliques—51 (up from 45)

     I wasn’t as ridiculously exhausted after this workout, in fact, I wasn’t even winded after the warmup. In the long run, I know I’m being healthy. I’m improving my body, making it more fit and healthy… I just so desperately want to see a certain number that I’m completely clouded by it.

     Care to send me a pick-me-up? I'm starting to feel like this:

Zzzzzzz....

Well I've been a bad little blah-ger lately, haven't I? I swear, I've been keeping up with my Insanity workouts and I promise to post on my progress soon. Recently, my VisitSouth work has tripled (I'm not complaining, just giving excuses), so all I've wanted to do at the end of the day is this:

And find funny pictures online: 

"It's the hat"

But really, I'll post soon. I had my second Fit Test yesterday and I'm sure you're all waiting with bated breath to read about how far I've come. Which isn't very far at all, my friends.

Zzzzzzzzzzz.....

The Insanity that is my life, Week 2: Days 7 -- 9

     Monday, 8/29: If there’s one thing to be said about Insanity, it’s that the program certainly changes your endorphin production for the better. Yesterday was Sunday, my day off. Surprisingly, I found myself wanting to work out. Part of me wonders if that’s because I knew I didn’t have to, and I always want to do things I arrive at on my own (remember me saying I was stubborn?).

     After several weeks (a fancy way of saying many months) of a basically sedentary lifestyle, seven days solid of daily, hardcore exercise somehow tricked my brain into thinking cardio is a good thing. I had more energy this weekend than I’ve had in a long time.

     Mind you, I still woke up this morning dreading this workout, but knowing that I would love the feeling afterwards. I was right. I’m surprised to feel like this so soon into the program, and I really, really hope it sticks around.

Post-It on my Mirror Day 7: If you get new shoes before a new exercise regime, spend some time breaking them in. K?

     Tuesday, 8/30: Pulled my quad. Bad. Stupid jumping lunges.

Post-It on my Mirror Day 8: ARGH! So frustrated.

     Wednesday, 8/31: I decided to forego plyometrics today because yesterday I pulled my right quadricep something awful. I really, really don’t want to give up on this simply because I have a penchant for ridiculous injuries. (I once pulled my groin playing volleyball. Really? Who DOES that??)

     Instead, I moved on to tomorrow’s scheduled exercise, cardio recovery. I also spent about a half an hour on the elliptical at our apartment complex’s fitness center. I figured that was low impact enough and I feel surprisingly good. Tomorrow, I’ll probably stick with cardio recovery again, then I’ll resume our regular schedule on Friday.

     I’m really finding my body craving a workout when I wake up in the morning. Chances are, my body is just in shock after having been dormant for so many weeks, but if I can get this feeling to stick around, oh, just forever, then I call this a win-win.

     I simply refuse to use this crazy quad shenanigan as an excuse to get out of anything. (Even if I DID stuff myself on bread pudding last night at Five Sister’s Blues Café… Thanks, Heather!!! :D)

   
     Honestly, that’s been my problem all these un-toned years: falling off the wagon because I’m lazy. Not anymore, my friends!

Post-It on my Mirror Day 9: Taken from a friend’s Facebook profile, "You may be surprised to find out how easy it becomes to exercise regularly, eat well, and reach a healthy weight when you stop treating your amazing body as the problem, and start using it as the solution." 

The Insanity that is my life, Week 1: Days 4 – 7

     Wednesday, 8/24: After lying on the floor last night, immobile, during mine & Husband’s marathon Mad Med sessions, I didn’t think I’d be able to do anything today. Mentally, I felt GREAT, but I physically felt like I had sandbags tied to my calves. Thankfully, 1 hour+ of grocery shopping this morning really helped work out the tight muscles.

     Shuan T must have known how we would feel because the middle of the week is your Cardio Recovery workout and it is just what the doctor ordered. No heavy cardio, no profuse sweating, no cursing the workout Gods. Just stretching, breathing, and light calisthenics like lunges and squats.

     I was still shaking like a leaf afterwards but I wasn’t headed straight for the shower, either. And, I’ve already lost 8 ounces! I think maybe I’ll weigh myself at each Fit Test every 2 weeks… those results might be a *bit* more impressive, considering feathers weigh 8 ounces. 

Post-It on my Mirror Day 4: Remember, you’re doing this for yourself. Not for anybody else.

     Thursday, 8/25: I did not work out today. The morning was spent nursing a headache that just wouldn’t go away. I thought that maybe if I napped while Ben napped, it would leave… but then Ben didn’t nap so my idea was shot. I made the decision to take a break today and then resume Friday/Saturday, rest on Sunday.

     When I’ve had workout plans in the past and come up against problems like this, I usually beat myself up so much for giving in that the entire plan just falls by the wayside. I think that giving myself some flexibility is going to be the key to keeping this up. If there is a day I simply just can’t do it, I’m not going to the throw in the whole towel: my routine will just shift one day.

Not feeling like I’m locked in a box will help see me to the end.

Post-It on my Mirror Day 5: Take care of yourself

     Friday, 8/26: Pure Cardio! And Shaun ain’t kiddin’. After a 9 minute non-stop warm up and about 7 minutes of stretching, you’re led through 16 minutes on continuous, fast-paced, heard-pounding cardio. Coming from someone who can barely jog 16 minutes straight (let alone do things like suicide jumps, power jacks, and the like), it was intense.

I’m absolutely dreading tomorrow… Plyometrics again.

Post-It on my Mirror Day 6: I will not accept laziness.

     Saturday, 8/27: I. Hate. PLYOMETRICS. Every time I see this workout scheduled on the calendar, I know it will take every ounce of willpower to begrudgingly drag my body into our designated workout space.

Post-It on my Mirror Day 7: OH THE PAIN

The Insanity that is my life: Days 1 -- 3

     Sunday, 8/21: Today was my first day of Insanity. I woke up to some frustrating news about a family member and it made me really, really angry. Then I got mad at myself for being angry. Then I wanted to cry, but I knew if I cried, then that would make me tired and I wouldn’t get out of bed. So, I decided to use it as a motivator to propel through my workout.

     The first day of Insanity is just a fitness test. You do a minute each of 8 different callisthenic exercises. “No big deal,” I thought. “It can’t be that bad, right?” Haha. I was gasping for breath after the warm up.

     My furor was enough to push me on, though. Not usually being a violent person, it surprised me how much I was able to get done using frustration as a motivator.

“How dare he?” Kick, kick, kick.
“How selfish can someone be?” Jump, jump, jump.
“Did he really think he could get away with committing a felony?” Push, push, push.

     Thirty minutes later I was done, sprawled out on the floor of our home office turned home workout room. Sweat dripped into crevices I didn’t know I had and I simultaneously cried “Yes!” and “What the hell did I get myself into?!”

This is how I looked after the Fit Test: disheveled, hammy, and inwardly dreading this experience.

Post-It on my Mirror Day 1: You can do ANYTHING for 60 days.

     Monday, 8/22: Took everything I had to lace up my sneakers. After seeing how rough the Fit Test alone was, I was definitely not looking forward to today’s Plyometric Cardio Circuit. This isn’t one of those cheesy write-ups where I say, “But you know what? It wasn’t really that bad. I loved it!” No, it is NOT.

   
     This workout SUCKS. And I could only handle half of the exercises. Thankfully, the guide (Mr. Shaun T—and he won’t let you forget it) reiterates the importance of going at your own pace… which right now is a snail guiding a tortoise through a sea of molasses. And they’re both blind. This is going to be very, very hard for me to complete.

   
     I’m quite possibly the most stubborn person on the planet, so why am I missing the diamond grade willpower that usually comes with?

Post-It on my Mirror Day 2: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY?!

     Tuesday, 8/23: WOW! I finished my workout about 2 minutes ago and I feel FANTASTIC!!!! There’s not even a hint of sarcasm there, either. I did the Cardio Power Resistance workout today and actually managed to finish ALMOST all of it. There were a few exercises where I had to slow down or just hold the squat instead of jumping with it, but that is such a vast improvement from yesterday where I seriously wanted to tie a rock around my waist and jump into the Gulf.

 
    Today’s workout has me excited for tomorrow, like I can actually finish this thing. I didn’t expect this feeling until the halfway point of the entire 2 months. Here’s hoping I’m not borderline suicidal tomorrow, though.

Post-It on my Mirror Day 3: Remember this feeling and know you’ll have it every Tuesday.

Look for my full first week recap on Saturday!