Luuuuuuuuucy.....

Seems I have some 'splainin to do.

     The rumors are true. I'm off the wagon. I haven't done an Insanity workout in a week-- because I am stubborn and I believe that boycotting the system will hurt it's feelings enough to make me start losing weight. I've not totally stopped working out, however. Last Saturday, I opted to go for a run-- something I hadn't done outside in 6 months.

     Feeling my feet hit the pavement was such an amazingly good feeling. If I can say one thing about Insanity, it is that I have definitely become more conditioned. I made it to the end of our street without stopping (nearly a mile-- which I realize means nothing to you, but means the world to me). I have what you may call American Thighs, so running is essentially like dragging tree trunks across the asphalt. Keeping my fatass in motion for any extended period of time is something to celebrate. The fact that I also made it nearly the whole way back is also worth noting.

     The feeling of the sun on my skin had me hooked immediately. The thought of popping in a crummy old DVD in our sparse home office with the single covered window made me want to curl up in the corner and take a nap. If I was going to exert myself, let me commune with nature while doing it. Have I mentioned how terribly dramatic I am?

     I spent the next 5 days riding my bike in the mornings before Ash left for work -- a secret joy of mine since childhood. My bike is rusty, creaky, nearly 15 years old (I got it for Christmas when I was 10), but it pedals fast and gets the job done.

     We live about 3 miles from the beach, but we're somehow tucked in the sweetest country pocket, an enclave of golden sunlight, tree lined side streets, and orchards. Across the street from us are horse farms, large pastures home to fluffy baby chicks, and ponds the house turtles popping up to enjoy the sun. First, I would race the dragonflies flying next to me, then I would race the Blue Angels as they streaked across the sky.

     My legs would burn but it was a burn so good. "Take THAT, Insanity," I thought to myself. Stubborn or not, I love the way my body feels when it is DOING something. I need outdoor exertion to validate my existence. I'm transcendental that way.

     As I went shopping for pants tonight and zipped up that elusive size 12 (score!), I decided that maybe I'd give Insanity another chance.... although this time I'm not going to put so much pressure on it or myself. Scale? Be gone. I'm just going to love the feeling of movement in my bones and sweat on my brow... although deep down I'll only be thinking about the wind in my face as I cruise down a hill at full speed.

"My wrists are sweating!"

My dear friend Mary has joined me on the dark side. She started Insanity yesterday and I want you all to encourage her!

Hopefully she'll  be featured as a guest blogger soon-- as soon as she has enough energy to lift her fingers.

Send her your love, let her know that life is not over.

I'm causing a stack overflow

     This is the part of any exercise program where I begin to get extremely, extremely frustrated. It’s been just shy of three weeks: I’ve been killing myself daily with these crazy workouts, I’ve been drinking upwards of six bottles of water a day, I’ve cut out things like French fries, and I’ve been incredibly sensitive about my diet.

     I haven’t lost as single pound. On the contrary. 18 days into this program, I’ve gained a pound.

     Sure, spout the bull about muscle weighing more than fat or my body just redistributing the fat it already has, but seriously? I want proof positive that all of this Insanity is doing something.

     As a bona fide chubby girl, I’ve spent my whole, entire life with the mantra that it’s just a number on the scale. The number doesn’t matter as long as you look and feel great… but that crap only goes so far. The funny thing is that in taking my measurements (bust, bustline, waist, hips, thighs, calves, arms), I’ve lost a solid inch in every single area (1.5 inches in my calves). So why isn’t the weight coming off?

     Perhaps I’m most frustrated because a measly inch isn’t totally noticeable so I don’t actually feel like any of this crap is working. My Fit Test numbers show slight improvement, but because of my mood, it doesn't feel like it's enough. I honestly just feel like sitting down with a pint and a spoon and finishing it off so I can prove that I can see soemething to the end and be successful. 

Fit Test Week 2:

Switch Kicks—33 (up from 32… wow)
Power Jacks—40 (up from 35)
Power Knees—87 (up from 63, okay, I’ll take it)
Power Jumps—15 (up from 11)
Globe Jumps—10 (up from 5. I’m actually happy with this one because “1” jump is actually a series of four jumps, so technically I upped this by 20 more jumps)
Suicide Jumps—10 (up from 6)
Push Up Jacks—15 (up from 10)
Low Plank Obliques—51 (up from 45)

     I wasn’t as ridiculously exhausted after this workout, in fact, I wasn’t even winded after the warmup. In the long run, I know I’m being healthy. I’m improving my body, making it more fit and healthy… I just so desperately want to see a certain number that I’m completely clouded by it.

     Care to send me a pick-me-up? I'm starting to feel like this:

Zzzzzzz....

Well I've been a bad little blah-ger lately, haven't I? I swear, I've been keeping up with my Insanity workouts and I promise to post on my progress soon. Recently, my VisitSouth work has tripled (I'm not complaining, just giving excuses), so all I've wanted to do at the end of the day is this:

And find funny pictures online: 

"It's the hat"

But really, I'll post soon. I had my second Fit Test yesterday and I'm sure you're all waiting with bated breath to read about how far I've come. Which isn't very far at all, my friends.

Zzzzzzzzzzz.....